Single Female
Single Female A woman who attends lifestyle events or plays with couples on her own, without a partner.
- What it means
- Where the line actually sits
- How it plays out
- Agreeing it with your partner
- Saying it to other people
- What it does not mean
- Single female and unicorn side by side
- Common mistakes
- Often confused with
- Questions people ask
- Related terms
What it means
A single female is a woman who takes part in the lifestyle without a partner. She may be unattached, or partnered with someone who does not attend.
Single women are the most sought after group in the lifestyle. Venues often admit them free or cheaply, and couples seeking a third usually want a woman.
That demand cuts both ways. She has many options, and she also receives a great deal of attention, some of it clumsy or unwelcome.
The word unicorn is often applied to single women who play with couples. Not all single women accept the label, and not all play with couples at all.
Where the line actually sits
Some single women attend for the social scene and rarely play. Others come specifically to meet couples, or to meet other single women.
Some are bisexual and want to play with both halves of a couple. Others are interested in only one, which couples do not always expect.
A few single women are in relationships with a partner who does not attend. Honesty about that is expected, as it is for single men.
Some venues treat single women as a draw and advertise nights aimed at them. Others treat them like any other guest.
How it plays out
At clubs, single women typically pay the lowest entry fee, and many venues waive it. Staff usually pay extra attention to their safety, such as walking them to their cars.
At house parties, single women are often welcome without vouching, though good hosts still ask who they are and what they want.
At hotel takeovers and resorts, single women may have a dedicated ticket type. Many attend in pairs or with a friend for company and safety.
Online, single women receive a heavy volume of messages, mostly from couples and single men. Many keep profiles brief and let interest come to them.
Agreeing it with your partner
If you are a couple hoping to meet a single woman, agree what you are offering her. A woman can tell quickly whether she is a guest or an accessory.
Agree how you will handle unequal interest. She may prefer one of you, and a couple that cannot handle that should not approach her.
Agree that she can change her mind at any point, without explanation. Single women receive pressure often, and the couples who never apply it stand out.
If you are a single woman with a partner at home, be honest with him and with the people you meet. The same standard applies to everyone.
Saying it to other people
As a couple, approach her as two people, not as a unit with a plan. Ask what she is looking for before describing what you want.
As a single woman, state your interests plainly. Saying early that you are only interested in her, or only in him, saves everyone an awkward hour.
Use whatever label she uses about herself. Calling her a unicorn before she has used the word is presumptuous.
Accept refusal cleanly, in both directions. A single woman who declines a couple has declined a lot of couples, and it is not personal.
What it does not mean
- Single women get in free because they are wanted for play. Venues admit them cheaply to balance the ratio. Nothing is expected of them once inside.
- Every single woman is a unicorn. Some play with couples, some do not. Some accept the word, some dislike it. Ask rather than assume.
- A single woman will be interested in both partners. Often she is not. Couples who cannot handle that honestly should not be approaching single women.
- Single women are always safe at events. Well run venues take their safety seriously, but the responsibility is shared. Going with a friend and telling someone where you are remain sensible.
- A single woman must be bisexual. Some are, some are not. Her interests are hers to state, and no assumption should be made from her ticket type.
Single female and unicorn side by side
| Single female | Unicorn | |
|---|---|---|
| What the word covers | Any woman attending alone | A single woman who plays with couples |
| Who applies the label | Venues and ticket types | Couples, and some women themselves |
| Plays with couples | Sometimes | By definition |
| Contested as a word | No | Yes, by some women |
| Interest in both partners | Varies | Varies, often assumed wrongly |
| Entry fee at clubs | Lowest or free | Lowest or free |
Common mistakes
- Approaching her as a package deal, with the evening already planned before she has spoken.
- Assuming equal interest in both partners and reacting badly when there is none.
- Applying the word unicorn to a woman who has not used it herself.
- Treating a free or reduced entry fee as an obligation on her part.
- Failing to check that both partners are equally comfortable before approaching her.
- Pushing after a no, when she has probably already declined several times that evening.
Often confused with
Unicorn, which describes a single woman who plays with couples specifically. Single female is the broad category, and includes women who attend for the social scene, for other women, or for single men.
Questions people ask
Why do single women get in free or cheaply?
Venues want a balanced ratio. Admitting single women cheaply helps achieve it. Nothing further is expected of them.
Is every single woman a unicorn?
No. Unicorn describes a single woman who plays with couples. Many single women attend for other reasons, and some dislike the word.
How should a couple approach a single woman?
As two people having a conversation. Ask what she wants, listen, and treat her as a guest rather than an accessory.
What if she prefers one partner?
That is common. Agree in advance how you will handle it, because reacting badly ends the evening and damages your reputation.
Are single women safe at lifestyle events?
Well run venues take it seriously, with staff attention and escorts to cars. Going with a friend and telling someone where you are still makes sense.
Can a single woman have a partner at home?
Only if he knows and agrees. Hiding a partner from him and from the people you meet is the same breach it would be for a man.
Do single women play with single men at events?
Some do. Interests vary, and many events see single women there for couples, for other women, or simply for the social scene.
What makes a couple appealing to a single woman?
Genuine interest in her as a person, no pressure, and an honest account of what they want. Most couples get the order wrong.
Is protection expected?
Most people treat condoms as standard with new partners. Testing and protection remain your own responsibility, and a clinician can answer medical questions.
What should a single woman say in a profile?
What she is looking for, in plain words, and what she is not. Brief and specific profiles attract fewer poorly aimed messages.
Related terms
Browse every term in the swinger glossary, or find a venue in the swinger club directory.
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