FFM Threesome
FFM Threesome A threesome made up of a couple and a single woman, often including contact between the two women.
- What it means
- Where the line actually sits
- How it plays out
- Agreeing it with your partner
- Saying it to other people
- What it does not mean
- FFM and MFM threesomes side by side
- Common mistakes
- Often confused with
- Questions people ask
- Related terms
What it means
An FFM threesome involves a couple and a single woman. The letters stand for female, female, male.
Unlike MFM, the acronym does not settle the question of same-sex contact. Many FFM threesomes include play between the women; some do not.
It is the threesome most couples ask about first, and the one most often frustrated by the difficulty of finding a willing third.
The single woman in this arrangement is sometimes called a unicorn. That word is welcomed by some and disliked by others.
Where the line actually sits
For some couples, FFM centers the man, with both women focused on him. For others, the two women are the center and the man is secondary.
Same-sex contact between the women ranges from none to central. It should be discussed as a separate point.
The single woman may be bisexual, curious or interested only in the man. Assuming her interest is the most common error.
Some couples seek a one-off; others hope for a recurring third. The two goals attract different people.
How it plays out
At clubs, single women are often admitted cheaply and looked after by staff. Couples approaching them should expect competition.
At house parties, hosts typically invite single women they know. A new couple rarely meets one without an introduction.
At hotel takeovers, FFM threesomes usually begin with an invitation to a room after a social evening.
Online, the search for a single woman is crowded. Profiles that speak to her as a person stand out from those that describe a package.
Agreeing it with your partner
Be honest about who wants this more. If the man is driving and the woman is going along, say so and pause.
Agree on same-sex contact for the woman of the couple. Curiosity and comfort are not the same thing.
Talk about the man's attention. Two women in the room does not mean equal attention, and jealousy can arise either way.
Agree how you will treat the third afterward. Many single women judge couples by that moment.
Saying it to other people
Ask the single woman what she is looking for before saying what you want. The order matters.
Say clearly whether same-sex contact is hoped for, welcome or not wanted. Let her answer the same way.
Do not present a script. Describing the evening in detail before she has spoken removes her choice.
Accept a no or a change of mind without argument. Single women decline often, and a graceful reaction is remembered.
What it does not mean
- FFM always includes the women together. Not always. Some FFM threesomes involve no contact between the women. Ask rather than assume.
- Single women are easy to find. They are in high demand and choose carefully. Most couples find this the hardest arrangement to set up.
- The single woman is there for the man. She is there for herself. She may prefer the woman, the man or both, and her preference should shape the evening.
- The woman of the couple must be bisexual. No. FFM can work with no same-sex contact at all, provided everyone knows in advance.
- Any couple with a good profile will find one. Profiles help, but conduct matters more. Couples who listen find thirds; couples who pitch rarely do.
FFM and MFM threesomes side by side
| FFM | MFM | |
|---|---|---|
| Single guest | A woman | A man |
| Same-sex contact | Often present, never assumed | Not by definition |
| Finding a third | Harder | Easier |
| Common risk | Third treated as a prize | Coupled man sidelined |
| Club access for the third | Usually easy | Often restricted |
| Linked vocabulary | Unicorn | Hotwife, stag and vixen |
Common mistakes
- Letting the man handle all the messaging, which many single women read as a warning sign.
- Assuming the single woman is bisexual because she agreed to meet.
- Agreeing to FFM to please a partner rather than from genuine interest.
- Presenting a detailed plan for the evening before asking what she wants.
- Reacting badly when she prefers one partner over the other.
- Going quiet afterward instead of sending a simple thank you.
Often confused with
Unicorn, which names the single woman rather than the activity. FFM describes the three people and their arrangement; unicorn describes one participant and is not a word everyone welcomes.
Questions people ask
What does FFM stand for?
Female, female, male. It describes a threesome with a couple and a single woman.
Does FFM include contact between the women?
Often, but not always. It should be agreed beforehand rather than assumed.
Why is FFM hard to arrange?
Single women receive many requests and choose carefully. Couples who treat them as a person rather than a prize do better.
Who should message a prospective third?
Many single women prefer to hear from the woman of the couple. At minimum, both partners should be visible in the conversation.
Must the woman of the couple be bisexual?
No. FFM can be arranged with no same-sex contact if everyone knows in advance.
What if the third prefers one partner?
That is common. Agree in advance how you will handle it, and follow her lead on the night.
Is the word unicorn offensive?
Opinions differ. Use whatever word she uses about herself, and avoid labelling her if you do not know.
How should a couple approach a single woman at a club?
As two people having a conversation, not as a unit with a plan. Ask about her evening before mentioning yours.
What happens after?
Send a thank you and be honest about whether you would like to meet again. Silence is the most common complaint.
Related terms
Browse every term in the swinger glossary, or find a venue in the swinger club directory.
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